Part twenty of a series that sees me shamelessly copy/pasting from other sites those nuggets of masculinist wisdom – collectively becoming known as ‘the red pill’ – that are worth preserving and passing on. As mainstream media and culture turns against these expressions of male desire, I think it is important that they are propagated as widely as possible.
The following is taken from: https://illimitablemen.com/2014/05/08/the-suffering-of-the-lost-boys/ and it resonates with me hugely; my background was that of the emotional desert described. Hence, I never learned some of the key social skills needed to thrive in the competitive world wrought by the Feminist imperative.
“When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.” – William Shakespeare
2.) Father Hunger
3.) Pain of The Lost Boy
4.) The Lost Boy, A Feminist Bastard
5.) How The Lost Boy Copes
6.) How A Lost Boy Quits
7.) Advice For A Lost Boy
8.) In Closing
9.) Relevant Reading
It is unbecoming of a man to identify as a victim; thus I never encourage men to see themselves in this way. However, a boy raised by a single mother – or family with a submissive father – has been deprived his birthright. These are the lost boys; the unwitting victims of poor parenting. I label them victims only in the sense they have been done a great disservice, that is not to say this cannot be overcome, but that merely a most deleterious handicap has been conferred on them.
A boy raised by a beta is not taught social dominance, or how to protect himself physically or mentally. He’s not shown how to attract women, and chances are he will lack basic yet necessary life skills such as self-discipline. Like the boy of the single mother, he is forced to employ the internet as a surrogate for the father he never had. The need for young men, as well as lost boys who have grown into adult men to be “good at being a man” is dire. To any man masculinity is important, but due to paternal deprivation this need is even greater among lost boys. It is as such that in a time where there is little in the way of support for boys and men, the manosphere has manifest.
Boys need a strong paternal figure in their life, someone to teach them of, and guide them in the ways of men. More importantly, they need someone to shield them from the estrogenic tirades of a struggling mother. A young boy is not fit to adequately handle nor sufficiently cope with an adult woman’s emotions, yet in the absence of a strong father this burden as “man of the house” is imposed on a young boy to his developmental detriment. A woman’s emotions don’t care if her boy is only 7 years old, if she’s got to emote, she’s going to.
So what happens when, through no fault of his own, said 7-year-old grows into a young 20-year-old who never had the strong paternal figure he needed to become the best version of himself? When due to such poor upbringing, he is clueless in the ways of men, inadequate with women, undisciplined, depression prone and mentally unbalanced? He goes onto his computer, he tells his problems to his therapist, Google, and if the “I’m feeling lucky button” works right, he ends up here.
2.) Father Hunger:
The lost boy is damaged, driven to spiritual dysfunction by excess exposure to estrogen. For a lost boy estrogenic influences are abundant to the point of toxicity, with testosteronic influence but a scant repository oasis-like in its scarcity.
Whether a boy came from a single mother or a weak father, the root and core of his problems as a man are one and the same. In his formative years, he lacked a dominant albeit benevolent masculine role model to guide him. A boy needs a patriarch to teach him the ways of men, and so a woman will not do, for the condition of her existence knows not the male experience.
A woman interacts with men as a woman, a man’s behaviour in relation to her is thereby measured in its response to the presence of femininity, how men behave with her is not how they behave with one another. A woman only sees what a man portrays. She does not understand the why or the how, thus she is ignorant to a man’s inner-workings. Women only ever see the end product, not what it took to create.
As such, a woman may in her hubris think she understands men, but what she can never know is how to be a man among men. Because she knows not this, nor what it is like to be a man and deal with a woman, her guidance in raising a boy is merely necessary, not sufficient. Boys intuit this and men know this, but because single mothers have been catapulted atop a cultural hero pedestal, nobody dares address the elephant in the room.
Likewise a low-tier man will not do, for he is an inferior version of man, and therefore like a high school physics student holding a symposium on molecular quantum mechanics, ill-equipped to teach much of anything. Some of the boys birthed by single mothers are rescued, an alpha grandfather or uncle raises them as their own, but this is spiritual surgery to what is otherwise an avoidable problem.
The bond between father and son is sacrosanct, for boys take mental nourishment on how to be from their fathers, not their mothers. What single mothers provide their boys is a female model for how to be, and naturally this leads to feminine and broken men, not stable, competent and masculine men.
In spite of what a woman’s narcissism may screech – “his father was a jerk, my boy is better off without him!” – the reality is that boys want fathers and fathers want sons; it is the gynocentric cultural and legal framework which emancipates them. It is the rights of women to the detriment of men which emancipates them. It is a mother’s legal entitlement to her children, where a father has no reciprocal entitlement which emancipates them.
3.) Pain of The Lost Boy:
The lost boys have no voice and they dare not speak, for they do not expect anyone to care for their tale of struggle. Speaking, for the little that its worth anyway, would thus be quite pointless. “You are a boy, boys must be strong!” is what the bigots parrot in retort to a male’s exclamation of struggle.
The concept of sympathy and an extension of aid to boys and men suffering adversity is all but absent. Their hardships are often met by sociopathic nonchalance at best, and contemptuous disgust at worst. The lost boys understand indifference quite intimately, whilst comprehending little in matters of love, for they have never really been loved properly. At least not in a way that does not serve to only weaken them further, be that the maternal love of a coddling mother or the heartbreak of puppy love.
Whether it’s clear to them or not, what they need is the strong unwavering hand of paternal love. Paternal love is the love that keeps on giving, it is the richest love, and yet the spiritual medicine the lost boy needs is the very thing he can never hope to have.
It’s the delinquency caused by an absence of such love which cements a type of loneliness into the boy it afflicts. Something is fundamentally missing, these boys are broken, they can’t seem to make their lives work, they struggle to find themselves, they know they have a problem, but they don’t know what to do about it and nobody seems to give a fuck. This is the plight of the lost boy.
4.) The Lost Boy, A Feminist Bastard:
The ever-increasing isolation of today’s young men is a social affliction endemic in developed countries. The isolation, feminisation, neglect and underachievement of such men is a pronounced trend. A trend which only came to prominence since feminism murderously toppled the nuclear family, leaving nothing but broken homes in its wake.
When the nuclear family was the norm, and women were neither quite so naive nor financially incentivised to raise a child alone, the likelihood a boy had a fruitful bond with his father was greater. Simply put, bastards were uncommon as was divorce. As a direct consequence of feminism, boys and men alike are all the worse for it. Before feminism came to dictate the social narrative, having children out-of-wedlock was considered neither acceptable nor desirable. Now it is commonplace.
Nobody talks about how boys are failing, nobody at all. However, despite the sordid indifference and neglect of society’s inclination to address such a fundamental social ill, it’s not as fringe and uncommon as perhaps some of society’s more privileged would like to imagine, “imagine” being the operative word here.
Why is society so apathetic to the plight of the lost boys? Well to aid these boys would be to politically undermine the hegemony of feminist thought, and thus it is not part of either the political or cultural imperative to address this modern plague. Instead, we sweep it under the rug and pretend it isn’t there.
Chances for a lost boy to socialise outside of the home will have been at school, and in the workplace. Typically such institutions yielded little to no social reward for them, that is to say, because the lost boys were not high value individuals taught proper social skills, nobody ever really wanted to know them. Who cares about poor guys who aren’t good-looking, naturally charming, wealthy or connected? Nobody, and yet, this aptly describes the majority of men born into poverty with nobody to provide them what they need to reach their potential.
If even a fraction of today’s boys and men were lucky enough to find the red pill, they would be immediately awash with regret, yet simultaneously relieved. Finally, they’re awake. With their path to recovery and masculine self-development laid bare, where once there was only pain and nihilism, there is now a glimmer of hope. The red pill is not a cure in so much as it is an effective treatment. Nothing can replace the hole left by an absent (or inadequate) father, but the advice and guidance of a good father can be replaced – that’s what the red pill does.
5.) How The Lost Boy Copes:
How does a lost boy attempt to break away from the shackles of his personal hell? Most do not find the red pill community. Some become bold with a “I’ve got nothing to lose motherfucker” kind of mindset, dialling up their dark triad characteristics. They may sell drugs or get involved in gangs. They do anything that gives them money, respect, status and sex, casting all sense of conventional morality out the window. People who have nothing break the law to get something, not necessarily because they enjoy breaking the law. Frustration breeds criminality as much does poverty, so when both are present you have a real recipe for disaster.
What about the lost boys who are too timid to take the dark triad route? What about lost boys from a slightly better economic background? They end up incubating their sadness with technology, namely porn and video games. This anaesthetises them, it allows them to forget their lowly, drab existence and provides a false sense of achievement. In reality, they’re not going anywhere, but at least in this cocoon, they’re not falling anywhere either.
It is not of course without its drawbacks, a lack of everyday social interaction creates an irrational fear of socialising. If you don’t spend a lot of time around people, you foster an irrational fear of them. Lost boys have become so socialised by emotional neglect that voluntary solitude has become their modus operandi. Quite the dichotomy it is, to fear loneliness whilst simultaneously fearing social interaction, this but a mere glimpse of the personal hell a lost boy endures.
Escapism is a form of self-preservation for people who don’t know how to or simply aren’t brave enough to engage in self-improvement. When you have nothing, when you have nobody, stepping into the gym and lifting some weights around a bunch of strangers is a big deal. It takes courage for a lost boy to do what is otherwise seen as a mundane activity for regular people. A lost boy’s anxiety can become quite debilitating, it will actively stop him from pursuing self-improvement because beholden to fear, he is paralysed. The cycle must be broken for progress to take hold, but lost boys are oft slaves to fear because rejection and failure is all they’ve ever known.
6.) How A Lost Boy Quits:
The standards for masculinity are high, whilst the infrastructure to cultivate it is all but non-existent for many. No wonder then so many incubate themselves from a dreary existence with porn, games and internet. When you feel like society doesn’t want you, why would you want to participate in it?
If you’re isolated and the struggle is getting you down, one may as well make the confines of their psychological prison as comfortable as possible. It’s not that I advocate this lifestyle in any way, quite the contrary, but simply that I understand why it is as common as it is, to be succinct: its psychic anaesthesia.
Relative to loneliness is preselection. A lack of preselection can form the basis for a lost boy’s social ostracisation. Most people are close-minded and judgemental, they won’t even try to look beyond superficialities to see if there’s anything likeable about you, so if you’re not a high-flyer, a great deal of people are not even interested in sharing oxygen with you.
“Everyone wants to be with a winner, if that’s not you and you’re a collective heap of problems stemming from the promiscuity of your mothers ovary, then fuck you because nobody gives a shit about you.”
7.) Advice For A Lost Boy:
Take up as many hobbies as you can afford to, fill your timetable with them. Fixate on becoming better, you’re not going to settle for mediocrity and idle escapism anymore. Your commitment to yourself is to invest what your parents never did. You want better, so you’re going to strive for it.
One of the first things you should do is join a gym, exercise is great for staving off depression and increasing personal confidence. I know if you’re feeling particularly low that this may seem quite scary, but it is necessary. Exercise is one of the basic building blocks necessary to fuel all other forms of self-enhancement, as is reading.
More important is developing skills from extracurricular activities. Debating clubs, dance, martial arts, languages, instruments, the list is endless. That which allows you to socialise, whilst gaining a skill is something inherently worth pursuing. Working on skills builds your value, building your value should be a huge part of what your life will become. If you don’t know what you like, experiment until you know.
Take one step at a time, do not fret over the slowness of your self-improvement. Frustration will only serve to undo your progress, inspiring unwelcome regression. For someone in a position such as yours, it is a wonder you are even improving at all. It’s a wonder you survived long enough to find this blog and even seriously think about your situation. It doesn’t matter how slowly you build, only that you do. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you won’t be either.
More information pertaining to making this kind of lifestyle change can be found here.
8.) In Closing:
The ideological weaponisation of wombs by feminism has disrupted the patriarchal line. The systematic segregation of father from son brought about by changes to the legal and welfare systems have deprived two successive generations of men their masculinity, and will continue to do so for as long as this ideology is granted any judicial or academic legitimacy.
As such, we now have the perverse circumstance in which a man is present to raise his boy, yet would himself be considered unfit in the ways of men by his contemporaries. Likewise we have women ‘raising’ boys, equally ignorant to the ways of men, yet heralded as champions of bravery for what is often no more than promiscuity absent contraception. This promiscuity and taxpayer dependency is then retroactively repackaged as independence, and young boys grow up not only fatherless, but penniless.
However, the most perverse injustice is where men uneducated in the ways of men are charged with raising boys. These men replicate their masculine illiteracy by imparting their psychic castration onto an impressionable and unsuspecting son. This is perhaps one of the greatest tragedies of all. Not only did this man miss out on a fulfilling manhood, but without malice of intent, through his own hand his boy will too.